Theoretical Blog

I wrote a blog for today. It was almost done, and I hit a key. Everything I had written disappeared. It's probably a sign that I was repeating myself into nothingness.
So it goes.
I was writing about theory and the problems of ideology. About how ideology has come to be a negative term. About the belief we all have in free will and selfhood. About Sessame Street and Mr. Rogers telling me that I Am Special and You Are Too, and how even our critiques of ideologies seem to want to preserve this. I wrote about how the death of uniqueness is the death of selfhood in Western cultures. About the hero, and dystopia and how I came to be concerned with escape from hells on earth. And now, about how I'm questioning my original intent to write a theory of reading dystopian rhetoric that gives agency back to the individual reader and individual writer, one that rescues the dead hero at the end of the novels.
About how writing is an attempt at redemption. The teaching of writing has underneath it an intent to save the world. Compostition teachers are mavericks, or want to be. Underneath it all is the belief that things right now are quite bad. This probably comes from the Platonic division of the Body and Soul, which Paul picked up on--as long as things are physical, like bodies and communication, we're all screwed.
About how I don't think it matters anymore. Now that we recognize that language is ideological and everything is language, we must either be hopeless or purposefully ignorant. Now that we know that we can't know about how writing happens, we are stuck in the theoretical. The human mind remains unpenetrable, thank God. Writing remains in the misty regions of gray matter. Thank God. The dystopias show that once we figure out the human mind, it's all over.